How to See Yourself as You Really Are — Part I

Recognize the disparity between how we appear to ourselves and how we really are

According to Buddhist philosophy, self-identity, the “I,” is a creation of the mind; we create self-identity because it’s convenient and useful in certain ways. We must use self-identity to live responsibly in society, but we should realize that it is merely a tool, a symbol, a sign, or a concept. Because it enables us to think and discriminate, self-identity allows us to live and function. Although it is not the only reality of our lives, self-identity is a reality for us, a tool we must use to live with others in society.”

― The Key to Dogen’s Shobogenzo

In this article, I am going to share some of the key learnings from the book I am currently studying <How to see YOURSELF> by his Holiness the Dalai Lama. It has already significantly changed my way of perceiving myself, the world, and the interaction between me and the world.

Upon the time of this article, I have finished the book, but I will take you on the trip to see yourself as who you really are slowly. This article will only cover the content discussed in the first 3 chapters of the book.

I sincerely hope some of these learnings can help you to reconsider the way you see the world and help you harvest more mental clarity.

In the beginning, the author brings up 4 of his personal beliefs:

That universal concern is essential to solving global problems;

That love and compassion are the pillars of world peace;

That all world religions seek to advance world peace, as do all humanitarians of whatever ideology;

That each individual has a responsibility to shape institutions to serve the needs of the world.

Below are my key summaries from this part of the book:

1. Being born a human being is a rare event in itself, and it is wise to use this opportunity as beneficially as possible. Remember to always keep in mind that we all want the same thing. We all want happiness and less suffering for ourselves and our group.
2. Some people may think that cultivating compassion is good for others but not necessarily for themselves. But this is wrong. You are the one who benefits most directly since compassion can immediately instill in you a sense of calm, inner strength, and deep confidence and satisfaction, whereas it is not certain that the object of your feeling of compassion will benefit.
3. Most of our troubles stem from attachment to things that we mistakenly see as permanent. You may feel it is easy to feel compassion for a very poor person, your feelings are based on altruism. By contrast, it might be hard to feel love towards your husband, wife, children, or friends simply because your love for them is often mixed with attachment, and when your attachment changes, your kindness may disappear. Complete love is based not on attachment but on altruism, which is the most effective response to suffering.

As we recognize these facts and issues. Now let’s analyze ourselves deeply by first learning to identify our own ignorance so that we will be motived to understand truth. This step will lay the ground for insight to see help us see ourselves as who we really are

To identify ignorance, the very first question would be:

what is ignorance?

“Attacted by light and heat, a moth flies into a flame.

Stunned by the sounds of a guitar, a deer stands unaware of a hunter.

Drawn by the scent of a flower, a bug is trapped inside.

Attached to taste, a fish rushes to a hook.

pulled to mud, an elephant cannot escape.”

Ignorance in this context is not just a lack of knowledge — it is an active misapprehension of the nature of things. It happens when we mistakenly assume that people and things exist in and of themselves, by way of their own nature.

In other words, ignorance, by relying on appearances, superimposes onto persons and things a sense of concreteness that, in fact, is not there. In turn, counterproductive emotions will be procured due to these wrong perceptions.

As many of you are probably wondering, where is the source of our ignorance. The answer is straightforward: our sense.

To our facilities of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling, objects seem to exist in their own right. At the first glance, our ignorant mind does not question appearances to determine if they are correct; it merely accepts that things are as they appear. And this is the first misperception that we need to question ourselves.

But the questioning process is always confusing for most of us. We might think to ourselves:” if this is not true, what could be true!”

If we look closely when the mind adheres to the object this way — thinking that it exists as it appears — lust for the object and hatred for what interferes with getting it can set in. Especially when our own self is involved, we emphasize that connection: now it is “my body”, “my stuff”, “my friends”, and “my car”.

Our mind will not only exaggerate the object’s attractiveness and become attached to it as helpful in acquiring pleasure. We might also exaggerate the object’s unattractiveness.

Why understanding the truth is needed?

“Much of our planning is like waiting to swim in a dry ravine. Many of our activities are like housekeeping in a dream. Delirious with fever, one does not recognize the fever.”

— Paltrul Rinpoche

Given that lust, hatred, pride, jealousy, and anger stem from exaggerating the importance of qualities such as beauty and ugliness. Because we mistake the appearance of things as what they actually are and believe in the intrinsic qualities of their existence.

We unavoidably suffer due to the exaggerated emotions produced by our delusions. To put it simply, our goal is to able to conceive the object without qualifying it with either inherent existence or an absence of inherent existence, as when just ordinarily seeing something, such as a house as what it is.

In turn, the afflictive emotions will be removed, and they can no longer motivate your actions (karma). This is the first step into self-liberation.

In the next article, we are going to unpack the actions and scientific proofs of how to undermine our ignorance and harness the power of concentration and insight. Stay tuned!